Author Topic: ~ Funny Quotes ~  (Read 15979 times)

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #60 on: May 06, 2018, 07:29:18 PM »
[highlight-text]We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

Alanis Morissette

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #61 on: May 06, 2018, 07:29:55 PM »
[highlight-text]Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Edgar Bergen

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #62 on: May 06, 2018, 07:30:51 PM »
[highlight-text]A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #63 on: May 06, 2018, 07:31:29 PM »
[highlight-text]Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Mark Twain

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #64 on: May 13, 2018, 11:47:24 PM »
[highlight-text]I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Mitch Hedberg

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #65 on: May 13, 2018, 11:47:54 PM »
[highlight-text]I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #66 on: May 13, 2018, 11:48:35 PM »
[highlight-text]I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #67 on: May 13, 2018, 11:49:03 PM »
[highlight-text]I'm a great housekeeper: I get divorced I keep the house.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #68 on: May 13, 2018, 11:49:30 PM »
[highlight-text]Curiosity killed the cat but for a while I was a suspect.

Steven Wright

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #69 on: May 31, 2018, 10:32:20 PM »
[highlight-text]I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Bob Hope

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #70 on: May 31, 2018, 10:34:02 PM »
[highlight-text]I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #71 on: May 31, 2018, 10:34:36 PM »
[highlight-text]In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Rita Rudner

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #72 on: May 31, 2018, 10:35:25 PM »
[highlight-text]An escalator can never break - it can only become stairs.

Mitch Hedberg

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #73 on: May 31, 2018, 10:36:01 PM »
[highlight-text]Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #74 on: May 31, 2018, 10:36:52 PM »
[highlight-text]I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Bertrand Russell