Author Topic: ~ Funny Quotes ~  (Read 15968 times)

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #30 on: April 15, 2018, 11:39:30 AM »
[highlight-text]When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #31 on: April 15, 2018, 11:40:40 AM »
[highlight-text]A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

Mitch Hedberg

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #32 on: April 15, 2018, 11:41:36 AM »
[highlight-text]I know lots more old drunks than old doctors.

Joe E. Lewis

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #33 on: April 15, 2018, 11:43:41 AM »
[highlight-text]Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #34 on: April 15, 2018, 11:53:06 AM »
[highlight-text]The wise make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Isaac Disraeli

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #35 on: April 15, 2018, 11:54:15 AM »
[highlight-text]I'd luv to kiss ya but I just washed my hair.

Bette Davis

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #36 on: April 15, 2018, 11:55:35 AM »
[highlight-text]Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

Victor Hugo

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #37 on: April 15, 2018, 11:56:08 AM »
[highlight-text]Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.

Lewis Mumford

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #38 on: April 30, 2018, 07:23:08 PM »
[highlight-text]I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Calvin Coolidge

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #39 on: April 30, 2018, 07:24:03 PM »
[highlight-text]Electricity is really just organized lightning.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #40 on: April 30, 2018, 07:24:44 PM »
[highlight-text]I'm an ice sculptor - last night I made a cube.

Mitch Hedberg

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #41 on: April 30, 2018, 07:25:23 PM »
[highlight-text]A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Erma Bombeck

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #42 on: April 30, 2018, 07:26:03 PM »
[highlight-text]I bought some batteries but they weren't included.

Steven Wright

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #43 on: April 30, 2018, 07:26:40 PM »
[highlight-text]I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Warren Buffett

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #44 on: April 30, 2018, 07:27:20 PM »
[highlight-text]God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

Naguib Mahfouz