Author Topic: ~ Funny Quotes ~ (Read 16250 times)

MysteRy · « **Reply #180 on:** June 18, 2018, 09:01:36 PM »

[highlight-text]Always end the name of your child with a vowel so that when you yell the name will carry.

Bill Cosby

MysteRy · « **Reply #181 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:00:36 PM »

[highlight-text]Have enough sense to know ahead of time when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

Marilyn vos Savant

MysteRy · « **Reply #182 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:04:53 PM »

[highlight-text]Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Bill Cosby

MysteRy · « **Reply #183 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:08:37 PM »

[highlight-text]I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

Will Rogers

MysteRy · « **Reply #184 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:13:52 PM »

[highlight-text]Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Laurence J. Peter

MysteRy · « **Reply #185 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:14:45 PM »

[highlight-text]My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world and that's not just my opinion - it's hers.

Anonymous

MysteRy · « **Reply #186 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:20:59 PM »

[highlight-text]Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.

Anonymous

MysteRy · « **Reply #187 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:25:05 PM »

[highlight-text]The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Jay Leno

MysteRy · « **Reply #188 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:35:53 PM »

[highlight-text]Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

MysteRy · « **Reply #189 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:38:35 PM »

[highlight-text]TwoMy doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Walter Mattbau

MysteRy · « **Reply #190 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:39:28 PM »

[highlight-text]If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.

W. C. Fields

MysteRy · « **Reply #191 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:40:58 PM »

[highlight-text]I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Will Rogers

MysteRy · « **Reply #192 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:42:01 PM »

[highlight-text]Give me golf clubs fresh air and a beautiful partner and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny

MysteRy · « **Reply #193 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:43:18 PM »

[highlight-text]I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley

MysteRy · « **Reply #194 on:** June 20, 2018, 09:45:18 PM »

[highlight-text]Money won't buy happiness but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Bill Vaughan

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