Author Topic: ~ Funny Quotes ~  (Read 15958 times)

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #225 on: June 24, 2018, 07:24:24 PM »
[highlight-text]See, this CD is in stores. The only way I could get my old CD into a store is if I were to take one in and leave it. Then the guys says, 'Sir, you forgot this!' 'No, I did not. That is for sale. Please alphabetize it.'

Mitch Hedberg

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #226 on: June 24, 2018, 07:25:19 PM »
[highlight-text]My friend said to me, 'I think the weather's trippy.' I said, 'No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy.' Then I thought, 'Man, I should have just said, 'Yeah.''

Mitch Hedberg

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #227 on: June 24, 2018, 07:26:39 PM »
[highlight-text]You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number to be catchy? But often times they use too many letters. 'Give us a call down here at 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Carpeting.' It's too many letters, man. 'Hello?' 'Hold on, I'm only on 'Enjoy'! How did you know I was calling? I can see why they hired you!'

Mitch Hedberg

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #228 on: June 24, 2018, 07:27:28 PM »
[highlight-text]Experts tell us that if the Millennium Bug is not fixed when the year 2000 arrives our financial records will be inaccurate our telephone system will be unreliable our government will be paralyzed and airline flights will be canceled without warning. In other words things will be pretty much the same as they are now.

Dave Barry

Offline MysteRy

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Re: ~ Funny Quotes ~
« Reply #229 on: June 24, 2018, 07:28:20 PM »
[highlight-text]I was at the airport a while back and some guy said, 'Hey man, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he was just confirming that he saw me on television. So I turned my head away for about a minute, and looked back at him and said, 'Dude! I saw you at the airport...about a minute ago... and you were good.'

Mitch Hedberg