Author Topic: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~  (Read 781 times)

Offline MysteRy

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~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« on: July 03, 2018, 07:38:25 PM »
[highlight-text]Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2018, 07:39:30 PM »
[highlight-text]As a matter of principle I never attend the first annual anything.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2018, 07:41:19 PM »
[highlight-text]Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2018, 07:42:09 PM »
[highlight-text]The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the oposite direction.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2018, 07:45:00 PM »
[highlight-text]Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2018, 07:45:38 PM »
[highlight-text]I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2018, 07:46:35 PM »
[highlight-text]Honesty may be the best policy but it's important to remember that apparently by elimination dishonesty is the second-best policy.

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2018, 07:52:36 PM »
[highlight-text]Well if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us do they?

George Carlin

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Re: ~ George Carlin Quotes ~
« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2018, 07:53:33 PM »
[highlight-text]Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree something is wrong.

George Carlin