Wife SMS

[Global Angel]

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

[Global Angel]

Doctor: sorry , reports got mixed up.
 We don't know if your wife has AIDS or Asthma!

husband: What should i do now?

Doctor - Send her 4 jogging,
 if she returns, don't sleep with her!

[Global Angel]

An Angry Wife To
 Her Husband 0n Phone:
 "Where d Hell Are You ... ?"

Husband:
 Darling You Remember That
 Jewelery Shop Where You Saw
 The Diamond Necklace n Totally
 Fell In Love With It n I Didn't
 Have Money That Time n I said
 "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... " O:)

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
 Yeah I Remember That My Love !

Husband:
 I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop

[Global Angel]

An Airline Introduced
 A Special Package For Business Men.
 Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free

After Great Success,
 The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
 Asking How Was The Trip.
 All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...

"Which Trip ?"

[Global Angel]

Husband was seriously ill.
 Doc to wife :-
 Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
 don’t discuss ur problems,
 no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,
 Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home..

Husband :- wat did the doc say ?
 Wife :- .No chance for u to survive

[Global Angel]

''An Intelligent Wife Is One
 Who Makes Sure She Spends
 So Much
 That
 Her Husband
 Can't Afford Another
 Women"

[Global Angel]

Woman Buys A New Sim
 Card Puts It In Her Phone
 And Decides To Surprise Her
 Husband Who Is Seated On
 The Couch In The Living Room.

She Goes To The Kitchen,
 Calls Her Husband With
 The New Number:

"Hello Darling"
 The Husband Responds
 In A Low Tone:

"Let Me Call U Back
 Later Honey, The Dumb
 Lady Is In The Kitchen.. =P

[Global Angel]

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking
 Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club:
 Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
 Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football With Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
 Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything , He's On The Darts Team
 In My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
 Do You Crave Special Again ?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy ,
 You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday

[Global Angel]

A man received d phone
 from emergency room of hospital

Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car
 accident & I've bad n good news.
 The bad news is,
 She has lost both arms n legs n
 will b on a respirator d rest of her life.

Man: 0h my God, whats the good
 news?

Doctor: I'm kidding, She is Dead... =P =D

[Global Angel]

Cool Msg by a woman-
 Dear Mother-in-law,
 "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,
 I'm living with one of yours
 &
 he needs a lot of improvement"

[Global Angel]

A Sweet demand by a kid.
 A kid was beaten by his mom.
 Dad came n asked- what happen son?
 Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
 I want my own.

[Global Angel]

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
 WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
 SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

[Global Angel]

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
 All were missing the target!
 Suddenly he received call from her
 "Hi,wat ru doin?"
 His honest reply,"MISSING U"

[Global Angel]

A successful man is one
 who makes more money
 than
 his wife can spend.

[Global Angel]

When a married man says- "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,
 He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. :-P
 Lolz