Author Topic: ~ Funny Quotes ~ (Read 16423 times)

MysteRy · « **Reply #45 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:16:58 PM »

[highlight-text]Never have more children than you have car windows.

Erma Bombeck

MysteRy · « **Reply #46 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:17:47 PM »

[highlight-text]The way taxes are you might as well marry for love.

Joe E. Lewis

MysteRy · « **Reply #47 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:18:28 PM »

[highlight-text]I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Mitch Hedberg

MysteRy · « **Reply #48 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:19:01 PM »

[highlight-text]We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back.

Bob Hope

MysteRy · « **Reply #49 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:19:38 PM »

[highlight-text]Wal-Mart what's that? Do they like make walls there?

Paris Hilton

MysteRy · « **Reply #50 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:20:16 PM »

[highlight-text]My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

MysteRy · « **Reply #51 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:20:55 PM »

[highlight-text]I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.

Stephen King

MysteRy · « **Reply #52 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:21:33 PM »

[highlight-text]I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.

Howard Nemerov

MysteRy · « **Reply #53 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:22:16 PM »

[highlight-text]I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

MysteRy · « **Reply #54 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:23:35 PM »

[highlight-text]I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

MysteRy · « **Reply #55 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:24:19 PM »

[highlight-text]I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

MysteRy · « **Reply #56 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:25:04 PM »

[highlight-text]Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children.

Sam Levenson

MysteRy · « **Reply #57 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:25:52 PM »

[highlight-text]If love is the answer could you rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin

MysteRy · « **Reply #58 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:26:30 PM »

[highlight-text]I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

W. C. Fields

MysteRy · « **Reply #59 on:** May 06, 2018, 07:27:06 PM »

[highlight-text]Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

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