Possessiveness in Relationships!!! 
Why are men and women possessive? Here is a more scientific explaination from PsychologyToday:"When jealousy simply alerts us, it is likely to result from a concern for the relationship. But when it is destructive, it is usually triggered by insecurity about our prospects. People with a poor sense of self (that is, those who are desperate to preserve their mating prospects) are more prone to the deep hurt and fury that precede angry outbursts."Much as it is a natural emotion that comes from fear, I think over possessiveness isn’t healthy. Why? because true love is other centered but when jealousy takes over the picture, it become me-centered. How much control I have, what my feelings are, whether it is fair to me etc.I think a good analogy would be trying to scoop water from a river. As long as you keep your hand gently open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love. They try to posses, own, demand, and expect… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature.
Sounds such a simple perspective, but how difficult to internalize! I have seen relationships collapse due to a possessiveness overdrive and power struggle. Well, we can never reason out our actions in relationships, but awareness always helps in defining our perspective. Love like joy and cheer is meant to be shared and isn’t limited like a piece of cake.
Still, we feel as if we own the person and haggle for our share, how peculiar!I think its like we come to this world with absolutely nothing, just a body, that is temporary. That is how we will die. Our stay in this world is very short. 70 years, 80 years or even lesser. Nothing actually belongs to us. Even marriage is a treaty, to commit, to make sacrifices but not to allow oneself’s past and present to be controlled.If you view life with the sense of impermanence, it gets better. What is yours, will stay yours. What isn’t, wouldn’t be. That is the way it is.Some other tips from PsychologyToday to curb possessiveness:Jealousy implies a shaky sense of self. Demanding chronic reassurance from your mate is a bottomless pit. Instead, remind yourself that:=> You are a whole person with or without your mate, but because you prefer a good relationship, you will maintain open and honest communication.
=>Your sense of self is best kept independent of your mate. You can function as an autonomous human being in a relationship.
=>Harmful jealousy is a measure not of love but of insecurity. Appropriate jealousy prompts you to address any problems in the relationship.
=>Rage, vengeance and self-hatred are clues that your jealousy has morphed into Neanderthink.
=>Irrational jealousy may once have served rational ends, but no one has the power to make you feel bad about yourself—unless you grant it.A virus
Which multiplies itself
Eats away mental peace
Splits the relationship
Confuses others
Hurts the emotions
Kills the cherished love
Unfolds the gray shade of loved ones
Leads to hatred and regrets
Makes life difficult
And the association traumatic!!!
